On to other places

Well after 4 years, 2 of which most of us have been barely hanging on, I am off to a different job. Instead of the average 3 hr commute to and from work I now have to go a whopping 0.8 mi. Yep that’s right. Plus the base pay is over a dollar more an hour than I am making now. Plus, plus,….plus. To many plus to list right now but there are many. Who knew 1 application just to see what was closer to my house would turn into 4 interviews along later with 4 job offers. Actually made me feel good about myself for a day or two. Then it was quickly back to my “reality.” I get to start at Stanley on the first of May. Some of you may or may not know of Stanley tools. They are pretty big. I encourage you if your curious to check them out. Have to head back to the grind of life for now hope to start writing more, but never have time…. at least not yet. Till next time.

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hurt

hurt and be hurt, that is the nature of us

time, choices, circumstances, all have a way of tearing everything apart

we try and improve, make things better, build something with another or something

one step forward two steps back

try and try again, change this,change that just to repeat again

voices, thoughts, dreams pass through our mind constantly

no way to figure it out, actually accomplish something

hating what we have become, from the damage we have done

no way out, nothing to save us now

freely giving hurt and pain to others like a faucet

yet like a desert when we try and be vulnerable and open

the next big thing will save us….. we think

surprise… it doesn’t

try and drown ourselves in something that makes us feel good and alive

yet tears apart and only causes more hurt

Too many more every day

These past 8 months my husband has lost several battle buddies to suicide. He takes the news extremely hard. These are the guys he’s been in front lines of war with. Fought alongside each other. Saved each other’s lives. Came home together. Only to lose them to suicide. Soldiers come home not knowing how […]

via 22 a day is 22 too many — Life & Writings of Barefoot Momma

Wounded Warrior Project

Source: Wounded Warrior Project

I couldn’t agree more! Without WWP I would not be here at all, let alone anywhere close to where I have came. I like you have a lot of work to do still, but they are ALWAYS there for me at just the right time!
I used to think I was completely worthless. Now I know I am worth something. It may not be much in other people’s opinion, but I know I am worth something.

today

Today I feel on the edge. I cannot take everything anymore. It has been beating the hell out of me for awhile, and now even more symptoms than I already had magically appear because there is only so far you can push yourself mentally and physically before it all starts crashing down. I came here to hopefully vent my frustration, because reality is no one actually hears what I might have to say. I know it isn’t really an answer, but I just want to bury myself in a bottle for awhile. There is no realistic way to escape the stress, manipulation, abuse, or blame. I went out last week hoping it would release some of my burden, but it did not. Cannot do hobbies, mainly because of funds, but also anytime I try someone has something very urgent that I end up having to carry myself. AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.