Even though I have not been writing much lately, I am inspired by a lot of other bloggers to share this last week with you all. This last week was the longest amount of time the W and I were without the kids. Most people would think that this amount of time would be great for any relationship. Parts of it were. Even then I would sometimes find myself wondering. Wondering if I am simply falling for the same old games. We had to be on a pretty tight budget (as usual) so most of what we thought/ planned we would like to do while the kids were gone did not happen. The few that did were decent and enjoyable overall. As the week went on I felt as if I have to sacrifice more than everyone else in the family combined. No I am not looking for a pity party, or even answers to all the questions swirling around on my head. I am just so frustrated that I either willing give up something, or get pushed to the point that I just say F it and give up whatever I have to in order to accomplish the next task.
As soon as I walked in the door yesterday from work the W began the usual prodding to see what was wrong. She has a way of pushing and prying like a bulldozer and a jack hammer. Why should I work my ass off the last 8 mths to a year to try and communicate better, when no one listens to what I have to say? I usually do not have a lot to say, but the few times I do it would be great to know that someone hears me. A simple example of this is awhile back I had said that the chickens that come up from the freezer need to be put on a plate while the defrost in the breakfast nook area. That way they do not leak stuff all over the floor. The W never heard me say this on at least 2 occasions. She had placed a chicken to defrost and finally realized that I was correct when she stepped in the mess by accident and noticed it was sticky. That meant a lot more than water was leaking while it defrosted. This isn’t even a matter of my being right in this, and most instances, it is simply a matter of being heard. Everything still ends up being either my mistake or one of my many issues. I am simply so tired and burnt out of it all. Maybe all I need is a staycation from normal life.