Happy?

The last 8 months, or so, have been a long struggle to say the least. Overall things for the wife and I are improving. Last night as we headed to bed she asked that proverbial question most of us dread. “Are you happy?” After lingering near the bush for a bit, I finally gave her the most simple and honest answer I could. “No.”

Sure some things have improved. I am communicating more, and better. She is mostly listening and attempting not to be a narcissist. The verbal abuse and belittlement has also lessened. Others, like codependency, have stayed about the same. Yet I am fairly certain that I am in the place where I have to be in life overall.

I have come to the firm opinion that most of us have taken so many twists and turns along the road of life that we pretty much are where we are. We could take a turn in a different direction, but the reality is that it would probably be worse overall. I have already summarized this in another post circumstances, choices, or luck?.

Where am I headed with all this?… As usual I am not really sure. It seems like a lot of people are, or know someone who, is going through an eerily similar situation. Maybe for most of us there cannot be true happiness. Sometimes things are simply as good as it is going to get.

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10 comments on “Happy?

  1. Miss Evelyn says:

    My homework assignment from my therapist was about writing what would make me happy if I didn’t have to worry about any constrictions. The first thing that came to my mind was freedom. I wish to be free but I have responsibilities. I cannot just walk out. There are consequences to such actions. Then I began thinking of what hobbies I would be interested in and work from there. I know I have to find it within myself and I cannot allow myself to be constricted by someone else yet at the same time I understand my abilities are limited and I can only do so much. Having faith And hope helps at least.

    Liked by 1 person

    • gijoefun79 says:

      I COMPLETELY agree.
      If it wasn’t for my 2 hobbies, I am certain I would be living permanently in a mental ward. Even though I gave one (dirt track racing) up this summer for my kids to be able to go to various summer camps, I can still partially escape with my model trains.
      Going to my therapy group helps me the most. I lost whatever “faith” I had years ago.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Miss Evelyn says:

        I nearly went that way. That God I caught myself in time. I’ve learned the only way to satisfy my husband is to become one of his minions. My children is just another topic altogether. Still so much on work on. Myself and them at the same time. Dirt track racing sounds exciting. Are there races ?

        Like

      • gijoefun79 says:

        Almost every sat from about April thru Sept. Sometimes different classes (types) of cars are racing. All but 2 saturdays in Aug there is a race every sat!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Miss Evelyn says:

        That sounds like bunches of fun! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • gijoefun79 says:

        Driving my racecar is the only escape I have. No worries, the ultimate of “being in the moment.” When I am out there I feel like I have no pain or disabilities. Other than a couple minor adjustments I had to make so that I can drive a standard transmission (stick shift) solely left footed and to keep my bad right leg from popping the transmission out of gear when I entered the corners.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Miss Evelyn says:

        I remember you telling me before of living in the moment. It seems life really is about living in the moment. That sounds cool thought. I can just imagine how it is. Even now, driving about has a different feeling to it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • gijoefun79 says:

        If you are interest Jon Kabat-Zinn has written vastly on the subject. The two I would recommend are “No matter where you go, there you are” and “Full catastrophe living”

        Liked by 1 person

  2. booguloo says:

    I read a lot of stinking thinking. Positive affirmations can help. It may help and it might bring to a point where you can deal with it better. Write, write write.
    Mike

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You know that i am struggling with a relationship that alternates between utter happiness to utter pain ad infinitum. I know happiness comes from within, yet relationships, if they are to be meaningful, throw another element into the mix. We are social animals. It can all get so confusing. I just never want to settle, for almost happy, or a few moments of happiness. It seems there must be a better alternative. At least here’s to hoping.

    Liked by 1 person

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