How pathetic and/ or stupid am I?

I will be the first to admit I overuse the word stupid. Especially when referring to myself. There is not another word that so adequately describes well… me. This is not the subject matter for today. I am simply making a list of ways in which I more than fulfill the two chosen words pathetic and/ or stupid I am

At the end of even the best day I have had lately (maybe years), I still feel like having a good long hard cry

Even though people seem to always hurt me, I continue to wear my heart on my sleeve and express my feelings

I tend to take practically, if not realistically, EVERYTHING personally (what did I f up now?)

I still believe in a happy ending, the proverbial happily ever after; regardless of mistakes I, or others have, continue to,or  will make

When someone says they will be right back, I incessantly (O.C.D.ily?) await their return or response

Deep inside I still believe hard work does/ will pay off (although if true I could have retired YEARS ago!)

I put too much of myself out there ALWAYS and in ALL WAYS! (except maybe little clothing, streaking, and such)

I continually try to get up and moving as life continues to beat me down

I hold out hope although I realistically have no reason to because I know how it goes by now

I continue to try even though I realize I will have to continue to pay for all the evil I have seen, done, and been a part of

No matter how strong I think the walls I put up are the slightest thing can find its way in and tear me up

No matter how many time I state I am done being hurt I continue to do it to myself and allow others to as well

I am sure there is an almost never ending list but these are more than enough for now. Till next time. Joe

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