Where is my happiness? Does it even exist?
I don’t think it’s in religion, for I spent many many years trying to find it in this
Is is in a lover? A soulmate? A friend?
These too I have tried and all simply come to an unhappy end
Can I find it within myself? Is it buried deep inside me?
Surely I would have found it by now. For I have searched tirelessly to see what I could see
Is it in a bottle? A needle? A drug?
Sometimes it feels as if all I really need is a tender embrace of a warm hug
Can it be in a self help book? A simple written plan from someone else to be my guide?
We are all judged by what others can physically see and not what is on the inside
How did I become so messed up? So alone? Or was I always this way?
Most of the time it is difficult to find even a semblance of a different day
Have I given too much of myself? Have I lost myself? Am I to blame?
No matter what I do or say it always causes others problems or more shame
Am I an outcast? A demon? Am I simply a messy ink blot?
We all have our differences, our scars. Some visible and some not
Do I try and hide it? Even from myself? Can I live in the bubble?
The bubble where everything is picture perfect and no sign of rubble
Can anyone understand who I really am? Can I even understand my own being?
There have been so many turns on the road of life, even the gravel road, I am no longer seeing