The cell inside my mind

The cell I live in is in my mind, where I reside, where I hide

For when the past comes here to stay, I fold away, I hide inside

This cell is dank, its walls sweat blood, its ceiling crushes from above

The floor is wet, the stench is sweat, this place is lacking warmth, and love

I built this place with my own hand, the reason for to lock away

The light of the day

And darkness reigns in this foul place, the flashbacks come, the nightmares stay

For when the past comes round to call, my cell hides me from the truth

It shelters me from all that hate; it is my only covering roof

And though to all I seem brash and bold, my outer skin seems hard and cold

Reality is a different thing, I feel so weak, so used,

So old

I’ll tell you how this came about, although I really have no doubt,

That you already know,

Because like me you have this room, the place to go, where you can shout,

It came about as I am weak, a person plagued by simple thoughts,

That are not so simple anymore, they squirm and toss, a hate, of sorts

And when I close my eyes so tight, I see again the shattered forms,

Of burning buildings, burning men, in bloody lightning storms.

Of screaming children, arms and legs, just lying there, the dawn to find,

Of shattered lives, of shattered minds, of shattered hopes, from my own kind

And so my cell protects me from this scene, but in itself provides a place,

Where torture rules, the stinging whip, the tears of blood run down my face,

For in my mind, I built this place.

The bricks are molded from my hate, and kiln-fired in the fire of life.

The mortar mixed from fear of death, and watered down with tears, and strife.

So course by course, as the years went by, I built this cell

I learned to cry.

And when at last my time does come, when I lie down, to wilt and die,

Then this fine shelter will collapse, fall over and be turned to dust.

For all my fears will go with me, my legacy of brick and rust.

My spirit then will fly so free, the past not there to trouble me.

I hope.

And so I say these things, to fellows who have lived like me,

To you who’s anguish rules your lives, fear not,

For someday we’ll be free

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