Go ahead jump to you own conclusion if you want, or insert snide comment as desired. I know going to my local VA hospital in Portland Wednesday night/ Thursday morning was a smart decision on my part. If you couldn’t tell from some of my most recent posts things have been getting the better of me, to say the least. Dealing with my chronic pain for 12 years now on top of my PTSD and other issues has had its fair share of up and downs. Only one other time since then would I say I was suicidal, and that was a little over 2 years ago and I started seeing a psychiatrist at the Vet Center. My primary doctor at the VA also gave me sertraline, which for the first couple weeks anyone who knew me called “my happy pills.” This time was a little different in that I actually had a plan and a couple of prime spots to jump from. I had chatted numerous times with the veterans crisis line before, but this time on wednesday was the first time they actually recommended I went in.
It was either that or that other option may have been too tempting. I felt as if one more thing occurred it might be enough for me to say heck with it, so I went in. After arriving at about 4 am thursday, I had a short meeting with a couple of people that worked on the ward. Upon completion they showed me to my room, in which I laid the immense amount of time that was left until the 6 am wake up call telling everyone the large day room was open and we could get some coffee or hot chocolate and watch the news. There I drank my coffee and awaited with baited breath the wonderful breakfast in which I partook at about 7:30 am. Then it was hurry up and wait some more for the doctors to come in. Around 9:30 I was called into a conference room with about 4-6 people were sitting around a conference table awaiting my entry. After quite a few questions and conversation we seemed to have a direction to help make things better for me, both mentally and physically. They were surprised to learn I had never been seen at the NW pain clinic, where they actually specialize in helping people with chronic pain. I had a short consult before being discharged from the hospital, and will have an appointment with them within the next 30 days.
The rest of my days, except saturday and sunday were filled with groups, some wii playing, one long walk( I wanted to get out, but my legs told me don’t do that again dummy), and lots of news and a few mind numbing movies. I left the hospital on Monday shortly after lunch. It was the best decision I have made for myself in awhile, and like I told my favorite nurse Leonard, I hope to not go back but I know where they are if I need them again.