Is there any hope for me? Am I even sane?
Along the road of life I have lost so many things did I also lose my brain?
Is it wrong for me to want something more? Someone I truly trust?
Or am I condemned to hell, in this life and/ or the next, for my sins and shame?
Or should I just deal with everything that goes wrong and take the blame?
This is typically the time of year I fell better, almost normal
This year not so much. Is it really because I am so horrible?
I don’t believe in fairy tales, but need a magic wand
To fix myself, my issues, lots of things… then maybe with someone I could bond?
Should I simply fade into the darkness all around?
Or could some miracle solution really be found?
Is it simply that I’m sick in the head?
That would explain why most days I find it very difficult, although I rarely sleep, to actually get out of bed
Who, or what kind of monster, have I become?
It is not the me I once was, probably because of the evil things I do, or have done
Watching myself wither away
Physically and mentally day after every single day