I have been wondering if a situation does actually work out the way it does for a reason, then what, or how, would things be different if it worked out another way. If it had a different outcome would it still inflict so much pain, just in other forms? Or could things be another way and be better for some, yet others would have to carry the burden of those in which things were better. This is only something I have recently considered. For me, in the past it just was the way it was and I tried to do my best. Lately though, I have begun to consider how things might be different if the day of the accident we were able to get Jonathan out. Preferably with no injuries to him or anyone else. Would people still have to deal with the pain that has come since that day, just in another fashion? You see what many do not know is that things with Jonathan and his wife were not going well at the time. (To say the least) So, without consideration or much thought, did I take whatever other pains may have come from him living upon myself in physical disabilities that day. Not something I have ever really considered before the last couple weeks.
I think no matter the outcome of situation it will have the same effects. Whether they are manifested in different ways, I guess, would change with the possibilities of the outcome. It is hard to consider especially now. Recently I learned of another person having effects of that day. Not the physical disabilities and struggles I have dealt with for the last 12 years, but instead the mental consequences of that day. I have also dealt with this area in many forms and fashions over the years, and had never really thought if it affects someone else that was there the same way. I have always known that I was not alone in being effected, but to hear the depth of someone else suffering really makes my perspective change.
Not real sure where I am headed with this, or why I even wrote it. I guess for me it just helps me to share. I do know that even though it is extremely difficult for me I would gladly bear the pain all over again. Because even if the outcome was different, the pain would still be the same.