Today I am simply frustrated. It is not the fact of my PTSD, depression, or even weather. it is simply my POS racecar. Back in my heyday I could fix pretty much anything and everything. I have repaired everything from generators, humvees, tanks, and lots of other machinery and even flipped a couple houses. For an 89 this stupid car of mine is definitely throwing me for a loop. Until this last weekend it would crank but could not get spark. Now in my infamous wisdom and frustration I seem to have made it worse not better. For now I cannot even get it to crank. This is not intended to be my writing about how not to fix your car, although I am an expert in that. It is mainly just because this has been a dream of mine for about 16 years. I have tried numerous tries and ways, but all to no avail. The closer I have gotten to actually realizing this dream the more frustrating it seems to become.  I guess if it was easy than it would not really be a dream any longer, or we all try once, accomplish our dreams, and then do what? I am simply frustrated in the fact that I spent pretty much all last weekend and actually ended up going backwards instead of making much needed progress. At least I am off Friday, and will have some help- Saturday. Saturday is supposed to be the first test session, as long as it doesn’t get rained out and I have my car running. Even once I get it running I have a lot of little stuff to finish. The 19th is supposed to be the first race of the season. Hopefully I will be ready by then.


On another front. I recently saw my therapist. I knew I had learned a lot and made some progress towards making myself better. I was still kind of surprised when she said this and scheduled our next appointment for June 2nd. Hard to believe when I started she wanted to see me at least once every three weeks if not every two. I guess that is what most would call progress. Well thanks for letting me vent. Till next time. Joe


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