Another posting I would like to share that I wrote on another website…
Here is the latest installment of the issues with Joe. I just cannot figure out what it takes for someone to make a real friend. I realize I have not made it easy most of the time, but really what does someone have to do, or be, to make a friend? Ever since my time in the service, and usually also while in, I cannot seem to make a real friend. I have moved around and I know that combined with my “issues” make it hard for someone to relate to me. Even other vets seem to be kind of a friend for awhile then something in life changes and they are gone. I know usually I have moved every 2-3 years for some reason or another, but it is a lot more than that.
Not that I really want to, or can afford to, go out and do something where I could meet new people, but even when I was out and about more I usually just became a temporary fix for their problems. For example, when I was working construction and would go out of town for a job, I would usually end up in the local watering hole (aka bar). I would usually walk there from whatever motel I was stuck in. I would go and have a couple beers and dinner, but would usually end up as Dr. Phil. I would use my vast life experiences to try and help other people who thought they had a major problem. Funny thing is life seems horrible for us all until we see someone else struggling with something much greater than what we are dealing with.
Maybe it’s just because I am a guy, I don’t want to seem desperate but I am not afraid to stick my neck out a little to try and make a friend. Maybe it’s just because I do not really have the time or money to continually go to the same place(s) consistently to make friends. Maybe it’s I am trying too hard and making myself seem desperate. Maybe it’s that I am not trying hard enough, even though I believe I am without being desperate. Maybe it is that there is no one who can relate to me. Maybe I am asking too much of someone to be my friend. Maybe I am asking too much of myself to be a friend to someone else. Maybe it is as simple as because the longest I have lived or worked anywhere is 3 years since moving here from the service. I basically just want someone to go do the few “manly” or friend things I can do, or maybe even just come hang out. Things like going to wrecking yards and getting parts, coming to watch me race my one race of the year, coming to hang out or help me while I work on my “trash” car. Hanging out to watch the super bowl or some other sporting event we can enjoy. Maybe it is just me being too much of me and no guy can relate, or wants to try and understand, or is too manly to open up about things I am not really afraid to share such as feelings.
It’s definitely confusing… How do we go about making friends not co-workers, acquaintances, fellow veterans, classmates, or (one of the funniest to me) brothers and sisters at church?